One Year Of Loss

Today marks one year.

One year has passed, and a hollow ache permanently resides in my heart. I have journaled (those exact words), I have wept, I have struggled with my faith, and I have grieved. I think I always will, because nothing will ever fix the hole my father filled in my soul.

But I am stronger. I can talk about him now without falling apart, choking up, and crying more ugly tears. It still hurts, but I can now remember good memories and not just the painful ones of his decline.

I think he’d like that, for me to remember him with joy rather than sorrow, since he was a rosy-cheeked man many described as “jolly.” (And yes, on more than one occasion he donned that red suit and played the part of the really jolly man with rosy cheeks for the children during our community holiday party, though we—Hindus all—celebrate Christmas in only a secular way.)

It would have been nice to commemorate his passing with some achievement, with some thing to be proud of, but I realize now that “something” is me—I’ve been a work-in-progress all year, a broken shell of myself, a Humpty Dumpty fallen off the wall. And I’ve been collecting the pieces and gluing them all back together. The cracks still show, but the form is returned to a whole.

I wonder what this next year will bring, without him. But I think I’m ready to attempt it.

Resolutions 2018

Here we are, another year gone by. I think it’s safe to say I’m the world’s slowest writer. Reviewing my goals from 2017 was a laugh.

Let’s see how I did:

  1. Blog 2X/month + a regular Writing Resolutions Review
    So I gave up on the resolutions review since they flew out the window in January. And though I didn’t get two blog posts every month, I did fit in one post every month. Break even.
  2. Send out a monthly newsletter
    I started out strong and then fizzled out toward the end of the year since I was busy writing and editing.
    The Palace of the Two Towers, a free short story, was also finished, covered, and published for newsletter subscribers, so I still call it a Win!
  3. Increase activity on FB, Twitter, and IG by posting something weekly on each platform
    Let’s just pretend this one wasn’t here. Fail.
  4. Redeeming The Demon’s Daughter
    So I commissioned a cover and published this short story after the contest ended. Win!
  5. Sea Deception
    As you know, this series hasn’t been published yet. So what did I accomplish in 2017? I edited Sea Dreams, doubling its word count, and finished writing all of Book 2, Sea Rivals. I’ve started the edit on Book 2. Book 3 is fully plotted and begun, and there’s an idea for 2 more books.

    Covers for Books 1, 2, and 3 are finished and gorgeous.
    Best of all? Sea Deception will be a full novel-length series, not a series of novels. Win, win, win!
  6. Free Worvanz
    Well, since I didn’t finish Sea Deception, I didn’t get back to Free Worvanz, so nothing to report here.

So that’s a wrap for 2017: two published short stories and two novels finished. What do I have planned for 2018? With no promises of a deadline:

  1. Releasing Sea Deception, Books 1 – 3. I still have to finish my edits on Book 2 and write and edit Book 3. Tentative release planned by March 31.
  2. Finish the sequel to Dark Empire.
  3. Write Books 4 – 5 of Sea Deception.
  4. Continue at least monthly blog posts and newsletters.

What are your resolutions for 2018?